Thursday, October 25, 2012

Bringing Home #2

I really struggled with feelings of guilt when Ada was born. Guilt that I was abandoning Madelyn. Guilt that I wasn't as close to Ada. Guilt that I had to split my time, my attention, everything. It made me miss Madelyn as a baby and also want to fast forward to a time that the girls are going to love each other and be the best of friends. It is a strange feeling - wanting to either go back in time or move forward as fast as possible. It was a rough time but here we are 5 months later and we are getting to the good stuff! My girls absolutely adore one another! Madelyn will not go to bed without kissing Ada and Ada saves her biggest best smiles for her sister.

I just found this blog post and had to share. I've included a link to the original blogger (Kate from Perpetually Nesting) as well as provided the text.

What Nobody Says About Bringing Home #2

I have to write about this before it fades.
The days following Eze’s birth only held two emotions for me. Guilt and fear.

Love, of course, overshadowed all of it, but I’m not talking about that, right now.

With white knuckles and tears staining my face, I clung to a truth our pediatrician told me in passing.

He has six kids. Therefore I believe everything he says.

“When we had our second,” Dr. Abe told me, “My sister told me this, and now I’ll tell it to you.”

And here it is:

“The greatest gift you can ever give a child is a brother or sister.”

This has to be true, please let it be true, I remember praying, Because I totally feel like I’m breaking him right now.

Jeebs was so young (14 months old). Despite being given a baby doll to play with and getting hyped up about being a ‘big brother,’ there wasn’t much we could explain to him that he would understand. And then this little screeching alien showed up and took over.

Tantrums, night terrors, bewildered eyes, crying for Mommy, elongated nighttime routines, lack of appetite, huge, thick empathetic tears every time Eze would cry. It sure didn’t feel like a gift. It felt like a nightmare. Jeebs even looked a mess.

We all did.

Before Eze, Jeebs had a great life. He had his own schedule, his own perfect room, his own toys, his own clothes and both of our rapt attention at all times. I didn’t realize more than in passing that all that would change.

“Nobody told me how hard this is,” I’d sob, to anyone close to me who would listen. “Why didn’t anyone warn me?”

So I’m warning you now. Especially if you are an emotional faucet like me.

The first weeks, even the first month after bringing home baby number two, can be excruciatingly difficult.

Even if you have help. Especially if your first is still a baby. [But I can imagine that even if she is old enough to walk, talk, draw and talk about her feelings, it will still be tough.]

Because she’s had you all to herself for ages.

And you are bringing home a baby. One you’ve never met. One you haven’t yet bonded with. One who is a foreign ship in your known home waters.

And you might feel a whole lot of guilt about not knowing her the way you know Big baby, too. Just sayin’. It can be an all around painful guilt fest.

The good news is, it gets better. Everyone equilibrates, each of you finds a new normal. Big baby adjusts. Little baby bonds. Everyone thrives again, eventually. And Dr. Abe’s truth holds. Your family is NOT the exception to that rule. I know because I felt like we might be.

But when he’s born, and if you feel this way (and I hope you don’t, because it really isn’t fun), at least you’ll know that you aren’t the only one. At least you can know that I survived, Jeebs survived, Eze survived and you will too.

The greatest gift you can ever give your child is a brother or sister. It is. I promise. My kids are both proof of that, now. It won’t feel that way immediately, but it’s one of those long-run things that hurts at first. You don’t need to be anxious about it. Because now you are prepared.

I won’t leave you with a downer. I’ll post tomorrow with some constructive help on how to ease the transition. Like I said, you aren’t alone.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Ada's 5th Month

Welcome to sleep regression. Headquarters - Ada's bedroom! Oh sweet girl, you have challenged us this month. It is the craziest thing because generally you are a very happy baby but when you've had enough, you have had ENOUGH. You also are very particular with what you want and won't settle down until we figure out what it is. More often than not this month, what you want is to nurse. Just a few days before you hit 5 months your old sleep habits returned...yay! I always assume you are working on some new milestone when you get all wacky. Guess what it was this time. You can sit up on your own! Way to go Bug! I was not expecting that! You are just going to blow through these milestones like they are nothing.
First time sitting on your own and we caught it on camera!

You've pretty much given up sucking your thumb. Turns out I was worried over nothing. You have picked up using a pacifier (sort of). You like to use the wubbanub because you can manuver it into your mouth but you only actually suck on it for about 2 seconds before you pull it back out again.

You have really started playing with toys this month. You love chewing on Sophie or grabbing at toys that are hanging on your car seat or play mat. Grandma has reported that you can hold your own bottle as well. You really enjoy tummy time as well. Your new trick is blowing raspberries and you do it! You have also started jumping in your jumperoo and will hang out in there for a good 20 minutes before you want to move.

Loves - toys, Sophie, nursing
Dislikes - us trying to get you to sleep when you aren't ready
Firsts - pumpkin patch trip, sitting unassisted, pig tails, sink bath

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Madelyn's 23rd Month

You crack me up lady! I love hanging out with you!

Big things this month:

You still like counting and can say two. It goes something like this "da, two, da, da". You've also started saying your colors and are getting better at picking out the right color. It seems as though your favorite color is "bink" (pink), with "gween" (green) a close second. We've started working on some handmade Christmas gifts and you love any gift that involves your handprint or footprint. We have been practicing saying "trick or treat" but it comes out more like "ick OHH teat" Love it!

You are really into music right now and love singing along to your Music Together cd. You also get really excited when songs you recognize come across pandora. You will run over the ipod, sing and dance along and then start signing more as soon as it is over. You also use your blocks as microphones. I will usually hold your finger up above your head while you twirl around and recently I caught you twirling in the kitchen with your hand above your head dancing by yourself. You love singing "If You're Happy and You Know It" in the grocery store.

You can open the basement door and love letting the cats come upstairs so you can chase them around. That lasted about 2 weeks before Dad got tired of hunting for cats and put a child lock on the door knob. You are also very helpful around the house. You love to help me set the table and you will fill Ziggy's bowl with tiny handfuls of food everytime you find it empty.

I've started taking you on Mom and Madelyn dates this month. I love the one on one time and you feel like such a big girl! Our favorite spot is Panera Bread. Speaking of big girl, we moved you out of the high chair and into a booster seat at the table with the rest of us. That worked wonders for your eating habits. You will eat anything we put in front of you right now - salad, falafel, soup, any fruits or veggies, anything! Watching you eat with your fork and drink out of a big girl glass makes me want to cry! I just can't believe what a little lady you are turning into.

Sunday, October 14, 2012


Ada has figured out how to blow raspberries! Turns out trying to videotape milestones is much harder with a toddler that wants to steal the show running around!

Saturday, October 13, 2012


Fall is an incredibly busy time in the Barish house. Nick kicks of the season with his birthday on October 11. Ben is close behind on October 19. Throw in Halloween quickly followed up by Madelyn's birthday on November 17. Then we have Thanksgiving and before you know it - it's Christmas. Eek! It is beyond overwhelming! Fortunately, I have been planning ahead and seem to be cruising right along with the festivities. This week is going to be a big one!

Monday - my family is coming over for eggplant parmesan (just because)
Thursday - taking the girls to Little Boo at the Toledo Zoo then having family over for Ben's birthday.
Friday - family wedding
Saturday - Nick's birthday/UM v MSU party
Sunday - Ben's friend party/Lily's birthday party

Stay tuned for the details!

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Ada's 4th Month

You are such a happy baby girl! My favorite part of the day is walking into your room and you greeting me with a gummy grin! That's right little girl - you're sleeping in your own room. I am so proud of you! You also slept through the night for the first time this month. 8pm-8am. I woke up and ran into your room to make sure you were still breathing. You had flipped to your belly but were fast asleep with your thumb in your mouth.
I couldn't help it! I love that face!

You've gotten much better in the car this month. We had to drive to Grand Rapids for a wedding and you made it up until the last 10 minutes before getting upset. You would rather ride in the City Select stroller because you can watch Madelyn and also keep an eye on Mom and Dad. You do okay in the Bob but I have to keep it moving and give you the ipod to listen to. You are fascinated by your sister and love when she gets right up in your face. You greet her with a smile every time.

We moved you up to the size small diapers. I started wearing you on my back in the Ergo. You much prefer that to any front carry wraps.

You have started laughing! Oh how I love that sound! I can usually get one by kissing your neck. You just love sitting and watching your family and are generally content as long as we don't leave you alone in a room.

We've been meeting up with all the babies from your birth class and it is nice to have some time with you. I also like that you are getting your own group of babies to spend time with and hopefully we have the beginning of some friendships here.

You've really started putting inflection in your babbles this month and you definitely want to be part of the conversation. I could sit and talk with you all day Miss. Bug.

Right now you love Mama cuddles and I love giving them to you. One benefit of being the second baby is that I know how quickly your babyhood will fly by and as a result I am always willing to give you that extra snuggle. I rock you to sleep every single night and watch you drift off with your thumb in your mouth. I am trying to carve that image into my memory. You look so peaceful.

We broke out the jumperoo and you LOVE it! I think we finally found your toy. You've also started going in your swing again and are fascinated by the toys that are attached to it now. You are always watching and learning. You are also rolling both ways now which means if I step out of the room, you are never where I left you when I get back.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Madelyn's 22nd Month

Girl! You never stop moving. Never. I've had a blast with you this month! You've got all your teeth now except for those last 4 molars. I have a feeling they are moving though because you've had your fingers in your mouth nonstop. I suspect you have allergies as well. Right about the time your Uncle Caleb's confirmed allergies were driving him crazy you started getting a runny nose, were sneezing like crazy and had red eyes - poor little lady!
Poor girl is extra sensitive to mosquitos!

You are starting to get into arts and crafts this month. Loving crayons and coloring, stringing beads, and playing with musical instruments we check out from the library. You can even hold your pencil correctly! You've also been embracing the break in the heat we've had and been exercising those little legs of yours. You've gotten better at climbing and jumping and we even started gymnastics class this month. Gymnastics seems to be a perfect fit for you right now. You have the freedom to run around like a crazy woman and you just bounce off of all the equipment without hurting yourself. Plus we end the class with bubbles,  parachutes and a stamp - your favorite class activities.
A Very Hungry Caterpillar themed lunch

You have made some pretty big strides in language this month and most people are able to understand what you are saying now. You are still obsessed with Finding Nemo and we let you watch a few minutes before bed. Every night after you get your jammies on, you beeline for the living room, grab the remote and bring it to the nearest person to turn on "ishhh, ishhh, ishhh". You then bounce up and down, beyond giddy until it starts. We are working on expanding your movie choices since Dad and I have memorized Finding Nemo. A close second right now is Lady and the Tramp. You have zero interest in the Disney Princess movies.
The day you discovered stickers! and your hair discovered volume!

Favorite food right now is cheese. You would eat it all day, every day if I would just let you. Anytime you catch one of us in the fridge, you come running and open up the cheese drawer and point until we give you a string cheese. You've also started bringing us bananas out of the cabinet when you want one. Big news - you've started drinking milk and can ask for it by name! You also love peas still frozen. Forget thawing them, you want 'em right outta the bag.

Your personality cracks me up on a daily basis. You love to count but can't articulate the numbers. I know you are counting because I see you moving your fingers and using the same inflections in your voice that people use when they count with you. Your favorite thing to do is to count 1,2,3 and then scream. We probably shouldn't encourage it but it is hilarious. You can match colors but haven't quite figured out the names of each color. Your favorite toy is your colored shape sorter. You also have started doing the actions to your favorite songs - "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes", "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "The Hokey Pokey". You have been quite a lover this month and won't go to bed without giving everyone in the house a goodnight kiss. I taught you eskimo kisses and you love doing those as well.

Last bit of news - your eyes are hazel! I thought you were going to keep your blue eyes but they have slowly been changing and I looked at you this month and you definitely have hazel eyes. Just like your mama!
Gangster with her pacifier army!