Monday, November 7, 2011

Being a Mom

This weekend tragedy struck my parent's next door neighbors. The details can be found here but I am not going to go into details as that isn't the point of this post.

I have experienced death in my lifetime. I have even been impacted by the deaths of people closer to me than my old neighbor but for some reason I can't seem to shake this gut wrenching emotion in the pit of my stomach.

I think about this and combine it with having to walk away from the TV when a show Nick and I watch (The Walking Dead) had an episode in which a young boy was shot.

I find myself thinking about and worrying about children of various blogs that are battling cancer and other serious illnesses.

Again, these aren't new experiences for me. I have watched these shows before and heard these stories and always felt for the people involved but it hasn't affected me the way it does now.

The big difference - Madelyn is here.

I am now able to put myself in these parents' shoes and I can't imagine what they are going through. I am able to hug and kiss my absolutely perfect, healthy baby girl and and incredibly grateful that she is happy and safe. It also makes me realize I would do everything in my power to protect her but there are things in life that you can't protect your children from and that is a terrifying prospect.

Being Madelyn's mother is an overwhelming feeling. I love her with every fiber of my being, more than I ever understood I could love another person. If at any time I find myself getting complacent and taking any part of parenting her for granted something happens that brings me back to the reality that every human life is precious and every moment is one to be cherished because there is so much in life that can't be controlled. I take these moments to squeeze on Miss. Madelyn and tell her how very much her mom loves her because at the end of the day that is all that matters.

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